Chapter 5. It’s a happy day! I came across an ad on Craig’s List for a used Airstream Safari. I immediately Google “Airstream Safari” and find a rock band in Missoula, Montana. I try again and find the information I’m looking for. The overall length of this model, “bumper to ball,” in trailer-man’s language is 22’ long. This means that the trailer body is about 19’ long. The width on the outside is 7’4”, so the approximate interior living space is about 130 square feet. My bedroom is bigger than that. I have to fit my “Must Have” list, me, Brian and 2 dogs…

We can do this.

The ad reads, “I hate to see this go, but I just don’t have time to fix it up… It needs a little TLC…” Brian can fix anything so I keep on reading. “Originally bought to go on road trips but I am no longer able”. I immediately start feeling sorry for the guy and hope he’s not in bad health. I envision a little handyman, checking all the wiring, leak proofing the plumbing etc. He says he’s already started ripping out the counters, and refinishing the cabinets but had to stop. So I send him an email.

I get a response right away. He says that the trailer is in storage in Las Vegas. He then signs the email with Who signs their email with a smiley face? Young people, that’s who. My girls use internet slang like LOL and smiley emoticons. I don’t. I assumed this guy would be old enough and handy enough to be fixing up an Airstream, so straightaway, I launch into suspicious mode.

I get back on the internet and Google this person’s name (I won’t mention it here, but it’s an unusual, non-gender specific name which is why I let myself assume this was some old guy). And I find her. She has a MySpace account and she is very young and very beautiful.

Paranoia is such a buzz kill. I’ve gotten myself all worked up and convinced that these people (now there is more than one person) are waiting for someone like me to come along. Scammer guy places the trap- pretends he has a perfect trailer that needs a little TLC. Young beautiful decoy comes in and makes you feel safe to show up at some secluded storage place and then…

I will fast forward through the rest of the details, but I am obviously still alive. I spoke with her on the phone, flew to Vegas, and bought the trailer. Hallelujah! As it turns out, she is a very beautiful person. She was so pleased to hear that I would continue her efforts and fix up the little trailer. After I lectured her about the dangers of meeting strange people on Craig’s List, we hugged goodbye and promised to stay in touch. I will send her pictures and we will be friends. (My answer to trailer trash quiz #4).

So Brian and I drive back and pick up our trailer from the storage lot. We are now the proud owners of a 1962 Airstream Safari. What a glorious day! We only lose one window on the way home. (Fortunately it didn’t hit anyone). My first assignment is to learn how to fix window locks. I’m going to have to quickly learn how to speak trailer-man language. It needs a lot more than a little TLC. (Photos to follow soon).

During the journey back home, Brian has the little Safari under constant surveillance in the rear view mirror- he’s not convinced that other things won’t fly off. I am in the passenger seat day-dreaming about all the other trailers out there that might need our help. I could not stop thinking about how happy my new Las Vegas friend was when handing her trailer over to me. It was bittersweet, but she was genuinely content that it was in good hands and going to be brought back to life. She knew it would be turned into what she had always hoped it would be. And I wondered how many others were out there. How many more trailers had lost their way? What if we started a rescue group and saved them? —-Brian is going to kill me.

Trailer Trash Quiz #5.

Why would YOU date a handyman?

a. Handymen really do know how to fix things, they aren’t just posers. No one is harmed.

b. I never have to call Angie for her list again.

c. Handymen fix plumbing leaks without surprises- I’ve already seen the butt. Been there, done that.

d. I can toss all my DIY books into the new under-the-counter, pull-out recycle center he just installed.

e. Other. (Enter your answer in the reply box below)

See my answer on the next post. Until then…..

P.S. If any of you guys in the rock band in Missoula, Montana ever read this, I really enjoyed your songs.